Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! It happened! To me! The well-organized, forward-thinking, yes, also in some regards, perfectionist. Stupid me. Deppert (in Austrian terms). Some unfinished blog posts went online – spamming potentially your Email account with unreadable, incomprehensive memory hooks to myself. Well. Not at all intended. Not that I have thousands of followers – but you might know from your own experience that in order to feel embarrassed only one other person noticing your faux-pas is enough for this uncomfortable feeling.*
In the grand scheme of things, what happened – peanuts! Not at all a thing. I TOTALLY agree! Still, the feeling was there. Then, though, I realized WHY it happened: I decided to spend an entire week offline, without computer (no rule without exception: I used my mobile phone. However, for phoning/texting only – so for what we used to have phones for).
After realizing why it happened I thought: Isn´t this actually a success? The unintentional publication of my not-yet-publishable blog posts is a sign – namely that I sticked to what I set out for: Being offline, being present with the people around me. Okay, it is also a sign of, let´s call it imperfection. But doesn´t this also make us human? I don´t want to beautify a mistake but orient myself towards something I found as crucial for learning: to “embrace conflicts”. I am not the first one who claims that attitude matters. Still, it is easier said than done – and requires practice. Luckily, life offers plenty of opportunities for us to do so.
Am I still embarrassed? No. Tant pis. Never mind. Ya pasó. It happened. Embarrassment, doubt, failure, conflict – would it be life without? What this tiny incident reminded me of: “Serenity”, and a conflict-embracing attitude, as a promising starting ground to move forward. And that each feeling of discomfort can ultimately also bring us further – expanding our comfort zone – allowing us to act in this world. And keep daring, failing, making mistakes, improving, … living life.
An informative new decade to us all,
*Luckily, this can also work the other way around – at least it did for me: one person can be enough to make you feel strong, beautiful, special, … allowing you to dare and be who you truly are.